100 days and counting (up).

I’m beginning to think that counting up is more fun than counting down!

I mean, there’s no end point, so it can go on and on and the numbers get bigger and not smaller.  So it’s like every day is an accomplishment.

Agreed? Good.

The Husband and I have been married for 100 days today, which seems like quite the accomplishment.  I mean, we surpassed Kim & Kris’ 72 day marriage, so that’s something!

Remember in elementary school when we celebrated the 100 days of school with bringing in 100 of something?  I always chose M&Ms.  It’s crazy how 100 can seem like so much sometimes ($100 for a shirt?!  Heck no!) and so little other times (100 M&Ms?!  I can eat that in one bite).

100 days of marriage positively flew by.  Probably because we spent a good 20+ days of it on vacation.  It’s a hard life we live over here.

After 100 days of dating I wrote a list for the Husband (boyfriend at the time, obviously) of 100 reasons I really liked him – since we hadn’t said the word ‘love’ yet.  I came up with 100 different things to add to that list for our first 200 days together.

Then I ran out of things for 300 and the list has been retired.  I’m only semi-kidding… I could probably still come up with 300+ things, but really, that’s just excessive.  No one needs that much self esteem!  But see, I have a thing for numbers and counting and celebrating the little relationship milestones.

But for 100 days of marriage… I really have nothing.  Other than I did text the Husband to inform him we have been married 100 days.  So sweet, I know.

I will take this opportunity to fill you in on some of the (less expected, by me) perks of being married to the Husband:

  • He’s pretty fun to travel the world with
Yosemite on our pre-wedding-moon.  Everyone should take one of these!

Yosemite on our pre-wedding-moon. Everyone should take one of these!

  • He has a heart for service and volunteering.
  • Silly dancing never gets old.
We excel at the YMCA.

We excel at the YMCA.

  • Hanging out with married friends.  There’s just something different about hanging out with married couples now that we’re married and truly at the same life stage
  • He opens containers that I can’t open (so manly!)
  • He walks our little monster when it’s cold/rainy/I don’t feel like putting pants on
Ah, walking in the summer is so much nicer than the winter.

Ah, walking in the summer is so much nicer than the winter.

  • We get to show up at family events as husband and wife, which is super legit
  • We can relax and be ourselves without having to impress each other or other people.  I especially love being able to intentionally annoy the Husband and then announce, ‘too bad… you’re stuck with me FOREVER!’ and then following it up with a happy/victory dance.
  • He takes care of me when I’m sick/complaining
I was pretty sick on our wedding day.  As in I could barely stand up all morning.  But the Husband was pretty great.

I was pretty sick on our wedding day. As in I could barely stand up all morning. But the Husband was pretty great.

  • Planning is over!  It was a life goal of mine for so long to be married that now that I am, I can breathe a sigh of relief.  In our relationship I went from the stress of convincing the Husband to marry me to the stress of planning a wedding.  Now I’m relaxed and calm and just happy to be.

I hope you’re enjoying the little victories of your day!

love

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I’m still thinking about that wedding thing we did.

I recently got an email from a college friend who was filling me in on the details of her boyfriend and their relationship and a wedding she recently went to and her thoughts on weddings… And as it oftentimes does with most of my friends, the conversation led to her throwing out the idea that she will probably elope if she decides to eventually get married.  Actually, more of my good friends have eloped (or had a super small wedding) than have had a more ‘traditional’ ceremony/celebration.  Before I met the Husband, I had always assumed that I would elope or run off somewhere and just get the whole thing over with.  However, he wanted a wedding.

Not a bad spot to start 'forever' together, huh?

Not a bad spot to start ‘forever’ together, huh?

On a tangent – I do not think that men should get to throw out the whole ‘I want a wedding’ card if they do not actually want to plan the wedding.  The Husband really and truly thought that it was every woman’s dream to spend every waking hour for months planning her wedding.  He also thought every woman naturally loved to cook and clean.  I set him straight on all of these accounts and more, don’t you worry.  Anyway, when we started talking about getting engaged he told me that he wanted a wedding and basically got super pissed when I told him I had no interest in planning one.  After thinking about it for a few more minutes (it doesn’t take me too long to make a decision) I decided that since getting married is a two person thing, I should probably agree to a wedding so we wouldn’t have any regrets.  We compromised and decided to have a destination wedding in Jamaica.  BUT, I still ended up having to plan almost the entire thing.  While the Husband helped me accomplish some tasks (stuffing envelopes!) I had to do a majority of the work and scheduling and stressing and talking to families/friends and coordinating… you get the idea.  I’m still bitter.  He’s lucky I love him and that it turned out to be worth it!

Now, there were times during the planning of our wedding that I wanted to rip my hair our / vow never to speak to anyone ever again / call off the wedding and elope in a private ceremony … you get the idea.  I practically burst into tears (wait, maybe I did burst into tears) multiple times a week over the anxiety this one day, November 17 – to be exact, caused.  So, I totally and completely understand why women wouldn’t want to put themselves through this torture.

But, the thing that kept me going was knowing that in the end I’d probably be glad that we ended up having a wedding.  Isn’t there some quote about how we only regret the things we didn’t do?  Well I think there is a quote like that, and although I know that it’s not true in all situations (I can think of quite a few dates I wish I hadn’t gone on!), I definitely applied it to this event and am very glad that I we went through with it.

Yep, I’m going to say having a wedding was one of my very best life decisions.  And we all know I have made A LOT of excellent life decisions. (Feel free to roll your eyes at this point.)

Reasons I’m glad I did NOT elope: (I would write a list of reasons to elope, and I might later, but basically if you go on any wedding website and look at the ENDLESS lists they have, that should convince you.  If it doesn’t, look at how much this list of things will cost to implement).

  • The Bridal Shower – I could write a whole post on bridal showers, because generally I dislike them and don’t understand them and never ever wanted one… But I loved mine.  It was my aunts and cousins and love and happiness and a great time to get together with people I don’t see enough.  Although they aren’t for everyone, I think it’s nice to give relatives the opportunity to celebrate you in a way they want to, so I’m glad I gave my relatives the chance to keep tradition and have a shower (or two).
Some of my cousins at my Cincinnati bridal shower.

Some of my cousins at my Cincinnati bridal shower.

  • Engagement party – Our friends came over and met our dog and played games and talked together and we gossiped and had a great time in our new home.  Basically, we used our engagement as an excuse to party, and I’m glad we did!  It would have been super-awkward to celebrate our engagement and then not be able to talk to people about a wedding that would follow… but that’s my opinion and I’m sure it’s possible to have an engagement party and still elope!
  • Bachelorette party – One of the top 5 nights of my life, easily.  My girlfriends are amazing.  Once again, I’m sure this could have happened without a wedding, but it may have to happen after the fact.
  • Cards/Notes – I’ve received the kindest notes and cards from people!  I will keep them forever.  I’m sure if I had eloped people would have sent me cards.  Other people (my mother included!) would have written me hate mail.  I prefer cards.
  • Dress shopping – I bought my dress with my mom, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law.  We went to one store, I found a dress, and then we had brunch.  It was such a wonderful day.  Plus, I loved trying on so many pretty dresses!  Maybe I don’t go shopping enough, but I really did enjoy it.
  • Photos – Looking at photos of the wedding week always make me tear up.  I had such a blast and am so glad that I have such great pictures of all of our loved ones together.
  • Community – We had an absolute blast bringing our friends and families together to witness our ‘big event’.  Seriously.  Even though my parents are divorced and I was a little nervous about throwing them on an island together, it all worked out as perfectly as I could have hoped.  Plus, our friends are now friends and hanging out with each other in different cities!  Oh the joy I feel has no bounds when I think of all of my loved ones together.
My bridesmaids cracked me up.

My bridesmaids cracked me up.

  • The dancing – Ohhhh the dancing.  I had the best time dancing.  I never even dance at weddings, but at my own wedding I was unstoppable.  It’s like having a private dance party with all of your best friends but it’s just a LOT of best friends.  It doesn’t hurt that our friends and families are excellent dancers.
My college roommates came to Jamaica and danced with me.  They're pretty stellar.

My college roommates came to Jamaica and danced with me. They’re pretty stellar.

  • Excuses to talk to friends/family for 9 months before the event – Even though dealing with friends and family members were the very worst/most stressful moments of wedding planning, there were some joyful conversations in there!  Planning a wedding can be a wonderful excuse to talk to loved ones who live far away.
  • Memories – Priceless.  My favorite memories include walking down the aisle, hearing ridiculous stories about the guests, dancing, the speeches, our rehearsal dinner, getting ready for the day… the Husband’s parents looking so happy…ok basically I loved everything.
M new sisters and mother-in-law on the dance floor.

M new sisters and mother-in-law on the dance floor.

  • My parents – My mom was so happy the whole time I was wedding planning.  Seriously.  She couldn’t get enough of it.  She didn’t plan anything, she just liked hearing me talk about planning… so she ended up adding additional stress to my life, but that’s ok because having a wedding to talk about made her happy and her happiness is worth it.  My dad was an entirely different story… he hated the idea of a destination wedding and made it known from day one.  If my mom added 2x the stress to my life, my dad added 1000x the stress to the event.  But, I’ve never seen him happier than on my wedding day and he’s still talking about how it was the best wedding he’s ever been to (and he says it in disbelief, still).  I know that my parents would have forgiven me if I had wanted to elope or have a super-small ceremony, but the fact that they enjoyed the day as much as we did means a lot to me.  Plus, we are now all bonded over this one week in our lives.
  • The Husband’s parents (and family) – His dad gave a speech that made me cry.  His brother (best man) gave another excellent speech.  His mom told me that she prayed for him to find a great woman and she’s so happy he has.  Both of his sisters were my bridesmaids. Were these moments worth the stress that his family caused at other times? ABSOLUTELY.

best man

Having a wedding is a big and expensive decision and I can completely understand why someone would be hesitant to dedicate so much of their life to planning a single day… But honestly I am very, very glad that we have these memories to look back on.

Ultimately, was it worth the money?  Yes.

Worth the time it took to plan? Yes.

Worth the stress? As much as it pains me to say this… Yes.

I'll leave you with the sexiness that is my current husband and one of his great friends.

I’ll leave you with the sexiness that is the Husband and one of his great friends.

“No, there won’t be any lions around, just hyenas.”

Remember when I said I would camping on the safari?

Well, it happened.

At least one of us was happy!

At least one of us was happy!

I knew I was in trouble when we got out of the safari vehicle and walked with our guide to the very back of the campground.  I’m not sure why we couldn’t camp with everyone else, but for whatever reason I guess he thought we needed space.  So, he set up our tent separate from everyone else and as far away from the bathroom as you could possibly get.

This is about when my anxiety started.

There are many, many things that make me anxious in life, but not being able to get to a bathroom is one of my top 10 anxiety triggers.  I’m not sure why this is exactly, but I just like knowing that if I need to pee in the middle of the night (which never ever happens) I can get to a bathroom.

Anyway, I ask my guide if there are lions wandering around the campsite at night on a frequent basis, and he assured me that there are no lions, only hyenas.  An hour before this conversation we saw a hyena eating a still-alive wildebeest.  He was dripping with blood.  It was awful and I’m still having nightmares about this weeks later.  But at that moment, standing in the campground, all I could think about was that if I got up in the middle of the night to wander around the campsite to use the restroom, I’d probably get attacked by a pack of hyenas and they wouldn’t kill me, they’d just start eating me piece by piece.

Comforting thought, no?

The guide suggested that we not even attempt to go to the bathroom at night since it was too far, and we should pee outside of our tent instead, should the need arise.  He told us if we bring a flashlight and look around with it first, we would be able to see eyes shining back at us and then the hyenas would run away…. no  big deal!

This is the exact hyena we saw before we got to the campsite.  Nightmares.

This is the exact hyena we saw before we got to the campsite. Nightmares.

OH HELL NO.

Suffice it to say, I had to pee that night around 9pm and there was no way in hell I was going to leave that tent.  Especially since it was raining.  And when I woke up at like 2am (I’m totally making up this time, we had no clocks or watches or cell phones but it felt like 2am) and heard hyenas.  Awesome.  And by awesome I mean it was not a great night as my bladder was threatening to explode and my dumb husband was sleeping peacefully after peeing outside the tent hours earlier.

Longest night ever.  Finally as soon as the first glimpse of the sun came above the horizon, I was sprinting to the bathroom.

… And then we did the whole thing again the next night.  The Husband owes me, big time.

I will say that aside from this discomfort, the safari was the best thing ever.  THE. BEST. THING.

More details to come!

Husband to the rescue!

The other night I found yet another thing that the Husband does super-well: he saves me in moments of crisis.  Well, maybe ‘crisis’ is too strong of a word… but he definitely comes to rescue me when I’m locked out of our apartment!

These are the keys that should have been in my pocket instead of chillin' on the counter.

These are the keys that should have been in my pocket instead of chillin’ on the counter.

I like to think he came to save me and not just our monster, who happened to be locked outside in 30 degree weather with his idiot owner (me).

I had never once locked myself out of the apartment… unless you count that time when I forgot my keys and went to work and had to sit at a Starbucks and wait for Tim to come home and let me in our apartment.  I don’t count that time because I got a frappuccino and life seemed pretty great and I didn’t feel ‘locked out’ so much as ‘enjoying my afternoon outside of my home.’

Anyway, last night I didn’t grab my keys as I was taking our little monster out for a walk and I realized my mistake the second I shut the door.  I also didn’t have my phone or my wallet. I considered asking a neighbor for a credit card to ‘break in’ to my own home, but then I thought they may not be likely to lend a random lady their credit card.  Alas. So, I did the next best thing and found the nearest stranger and asked to borrow his cell phone and called the Husband (who didn’t answer) and then texted him… thank goodness this stranger was very friendly about the whole thing.  I think it was the dog that sold him, there was no way I could have shady intentions with a yappy dog running around my ankles.  He tried to pet the little guy but Ozzie was too busy trying to run after motorcycles to notice.  I wish he hadn’t been such an asshole to the nice-stranger-man but whatever, I had bigger issues to deal with.

So then the stranger walked away and I basically just waited at the door of our apartment building until the Husband pulled up on  his white horse (cab) and let me in to our building.  Yay!  I’m glad at least one of us is reliable.  And I’m glad I had my heavy winter coat on, Chicago winters are no joke!