Real life: The Jimmy Johns man ran away with my cardigans.

Remember the other day when I talked about my love of online shopping?  Well, (and I know this is shocking) sometimes things don’t always go as planned and I end up getting a letter saying I should go to the courthouse to be a witness against the man who stole my cardigans.  Yep, thank you internet for making this excitement possible.

The small drama started earlier this week. I had to call Banana Republic because I didn’t receive a package that I had ordered weeks ago.  The website said that the post office delivered the package to me on the 23rd, so of course I’m all like – ughhhhh the sweaters have gone missing! and I was also a bit concerned that I would begin to hate Banana Republic as much as I loathe Express the store I shall not name (where I will never shop again) because of awful pricing policies and customer service and packages-I-never-received-even-though-they-were-shipped-twice…

I don’t even want to talk about that drama. I apologize for even taking you down that road.

Anyway, I called BR and the lovely customer services person expressed sympathy that my package didn’t reach me and promptly re-ordered the items for me.  Now, I was a little sad because certain items were sold out in my size or color I wanted, but they re-ordered what they could and credited me for the rest.  They even adjusted the prices to reflect a sale going on right now.

Happy day, right?!

I was so overcome with gratitude that BR handled the situation so much better than some other stores (yep, still thinking of Express) , that I wrote them a quick ‘thank you’ email.  I was hoping that it would at least make someone’s day a little better since I cannot imagine being a customer service representative at a retail store!  I usually write nasty emails to airlines, so this was a nice change of pace for me, too.

Well, this morning I received a call from a lady who told me that my original package from BR had been located.

Say what?!

Ah yes, my beloved sweaters were delivered to be in an evidence bag.  What an adventure online shopping can be!

Ah yes, my beloved sweaters were delivered to be in an evidence bag. What an adventure online shopping can be!

Evidently it was stolen on the 23rd by a Jimmy Johns delivery guy!  I cannot make this stuff up.

A doctor working in his office across the street saw the rogue delivery man jump over our 10 ft tall fence and take all of the packages that were left outside by the mailboxes.  The doctor wrote down the license plate number (of the Jimmy Johns ‘getaway’ car) and called the authorities, who found the man and my package.

There are many questions I have regarding this ‘operation.’

The main one being: why the heck would a person steal shit in his work clothes, using his work car?!  I mean, that is definitely the way to draw attention to illegal behavior!  And evidently he didn’t even deliver a sandwich to our complex!  At least if he had been making a delivery he could have been legitimately buzzed in and left a little more inconspicuously with the packages.  I can only assume that the police contacted his employer who gave up his name.

I bet he was fired and arrested on the same day.  That would suck.  Not that I feel all that bad for him, but seriously, he doesn’t appear to be the sharpest tool in the shed.

Lessons learned:

  • Don’t steal because you will get caught
  • Write nice letters when you receive great customer service because karma is a very powerful thing
  • Don’t get Jimmy Johns delivered (well, OK, you can still get Jimmy Johns delivered… we’ll assume this was an isolated incident for the sake of sandwich cravings)
  • Get packages delivered to a secure location if you ever want to see your cardigans

I must say, it was worth the drama.  I am wearing one of my brand-new BR sweaters today and I look quite good, if I do say so myself.

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